I am not mad: – I would to heaven, I were,
for then, ‘tis like I should forget myself:
O, if I could, what grief should I forget!!
– William Shakespeare
Powerful words from Shakespeare, make me recall days of hell and anguish. The grief and deep pain of betrayal sometimes push us over the edge of sanity – into a world of insanity. There was a day when I truly felt this way – if only I could go “mad”….ANYTHING to get away from the consciousness of the betrayal and madness of this world’s painful trials.
Fortunately, for me, that day has passed, buried deep in the abyss of time, however, for some there is no reprieve or escape from the deep pit of unending hellish torture of mind.
Ever felt that extreme stress – recall the movie, “Eiger Sanction” with Clint Eastwood, on the precipice? …slipping away from reality with no pathway to peace of mind yet to come in your future – caught in a world of overindulgence into the drug world or drinking alcohol in excess in order to quench the thirst of your soul or get some comfort for your hurting mind?
But truly, we understand these impulses, to numb the pain. And when we hear or read of others who have taken this path, we who have walked a similar pathway, completely understand.
“All of us like sheep have gone astray,
each of us has turned to his own way…”
And then later God says,
“Fear not, for you will not be put to shame;
neither feel humiliated for you will not be disgraced;
but you will forget the shame of your youth,
and the reproach of your widowhood you will remember no more.
For your husband is your Maker!
His name is the LORD of hosts [angels]!!”